Supporting A Child Who Loves Horses
That first horseback riding lesson seemed harmless enough. Watching your child bounce around in the saddle on a steady old steed was adorable! You shared it live on social media, and everyone wanted to see the pictures and hear every detail. Sure, the monthly lesson fee seemed like a lot, but you decided it’d be worth it when you saw that huge, blissful grin on your child’s dust-streaked face.
You probably didn’t realize what was in store for you just a few strides down the road. Now, Horses are taking over your budget, your lifestyle, and your vacation time. You’re feeling more than a little trepidation about what’s next. Here’s some helpful information to prepare you for your horsey future:
1. Find a Great Trainer
As you usher your child into the equestrian life, rely on experienced horse professionals and riders to guide you. Quality trainers who have the knowledge to safely talk your child through a difficult ride are worth their weight in gold, especially once your child starts moving up the levels of their chosen sport.
If you don’t already have a teacher for your child, search your local classifieds and social media for people with a solid reputation. Most states in the US do not require certification for horseback riding instructors, so do your research and ask around.
Don’t assume that someone has the skill to handle the job safely and effectively just because they’re advertising at the right price, and be wary of anyone who doesn’t come highly recommended by other horse parents. A first-time trainer or family friend who offers to teach your child on their own horse could be a wonderful situation, but in other cases, it might spell disaster.
As you consider different trainers, ask about their lesson horses’ backgrounds too. Never agree to put your child on an unknown horse who hasn’t worked with children before, even if it’s a pony. Such horses may react dangerously. A good trainer will gradually accustom a horse to young children and beginner riders long before putting a new rider on board. Great lesson horses may still have little quirks, but they’ll understand their jobs well.
2. Take Your Child’s Dreams Seriously
You know your child better than anyone, and you probably recognize when something they’re into is likely to stick and when it isn’t, but figuring that out might take some time. If riding means a lot to them, and you have the means and the opportunity to support them, do it!
Even if it’s not what you would have picked, being around horses provides huge benefits for kids. It teaches them resilience, responsibility, and assertiveness. The hard work, balance, and strength required will build their physical health and confidence. Being with horses also has well-known therapeutic benefits. Whether or not they ultimately stick with riding, your child will appreciate you taking their interest seriously, and they’ll learn a lot about themselves as they try.
3. Make an Effort to Learn
If you’re new to life with horses, you’ll encounter a plethora of novel terms and experiences. You may find yourself “tacking up” a large and occasionally intimidating animal before your child goes out for a “hack” with their barn friends. When your kid tells you to “Go find the martingale,” (whatever that means), you’re just happy you’re not picking pungent green manure out of the beast’s feet again while he attempts to yank his hoof out of your hands.
You might have no idea why the trainer keeps directing your child to “soften” their aids or change their “diagonal.” If you’ve done your research and selected a qualified instructor, trust their experience and don’t be tempted to give input during a lesson. If an exercise seems pointless to you, feel free to ask about it, but trust the process. You may feel a little bewildered, but don’t fret. Instead, remember to be patient, ask questions, and keep hanging around. It’ll start to make sense—at least some of the time.
4. Understand the Risks
Learning to ride is challenging, so take time to understand the risks before your child begins. Your child’s trainer did not ask you to sign a disclosure “in the unlikely event” of a mishap. Falling off or getting stepped on accidentally is a matter of “when,” not “if.”
Even a “bomb-proof” (calm) horse can accidentally bounce an unbalanced beginner off its back. The most skilled and experienced trainer can’t prevent your child’s mount from “spooking” (startling) at a sudden noise or distraction. Things happen, and horses will always be horses. Even solid lesson horses can exhibit behavior that seems unpredictable, especially to a new horse person. The more experienced your rider becomes, the better they will handle the unexpected, but even then, spills will occur, and injuries may result.
However, keep in mind that falls can also show you what this crazy sport means to your kid. Taking a tumble can be scary! Kids don’t usually get back on and keep at it unless they really want to. And when they’re not falling off, handling horses in any capacity can be hazardous. Barn kids come in many varieties, but unless they skip the chores and ride fully encased in bubble wrap, they’re going to be tough—guaranteed.
5. Don’t Rush
While it’s wonderful to be supportive, horse sport can be a huge investment of time and money, so don’t rush into purchases and commitments before you know your child is ready. Most beginning riders don’t need expensive gear, just a good pair of riding shoes, a comfortable pair of pants, and certified head protection. Having great horse gear is a lot of fun, but you can always build up your child’s collection gradually on an as-needed or special-occasion basis.
If your child’s ultimate goal is to own a horse, don’t hurry to make that happen before you can assess your child’s level of dedication, and don’t buy a horse far above their current riding level hoping they can “grow into it.” You won’t be doing a favor for the horse or your young rider.
Rather than gratifying immediate desires, support your child’s horse education. Trying out a lease horse in a riding program is a great way to prepare for horse ownership. It’s also wise to consult a trainer who can match horse and rider skill appropriately before buying one of your own.
6. Make a Financial Plan
Horses can drain even the deepest pockets. However, horses are expensive for a reason. It can take a whole team and a lot of experience to keep a sport horse or show horse feeling great and enjoying its job. Even horses with lower-intensity jobs require regular veterinary care, quality feed, and well-fitted gear.
If you feel your child’s passion is growing too expensive, consider their goals and make a plan that fits your budget. If you can’t afford lessons, search for a trainer who offers riding instruction in exchange for doing chores around the barn. Your child will learn much more working around horses regularly than they would just by taking one weekly lesson. Horse rescues and therapeutic riding centers may also offer opportunities to volunteer.
If your child has a goal you just can’t afford to fund, be honest and open about it. Not having the budget for your child to progress the way they’d like is a reality for many, many parents. If that’s your situation, don’t feel guilty! Instead, help your child brainstorm any realistic avenues they can use to work toward that goal on their own—even if it’ll take a long time. In the meantime, encourage them to be grateful for and take full advantage of any opportunities and privileges they do have. If they stick with riding for the right reasons and have a positive attitude, new doors will likely open, even if it’s not the ones they expected.
Enjoying the Adventure with Your Young Equestrian
Watching your child grow and thrive around horses is an experience more parents should have. As you navigate this new environment, remember to enjoy it! Don’t forget to take a deep breath, conduct your research, ask questions, and hang on for the ride. You and your new rider will soon be building fun memories and pursuing valuable goals together.
If you’re a horse parent who has a fun or helpful experience to share, please submit it to us!
Image by KarinaCarvalho from Pixabay.
