Despite having some family background in the horse world, my wife and I were out of our depth when our fifth child and only daughter was born with horse love in her genes. My father was a sheep and cattle rancher in rural Wyoming and spent much of his career on horseback. My wife grew up on the East Coast, where she learned English riding as a teenager and briefly owned a horse.
Our daughter expressed fascination of her own before she was five years old. We soothed her interest with model horses on birthdays and at Christmas, but the more she collected, the stronger her love grew.
When model horses were no longer enough, we signed her up for riding lessons as an eight-year-old. She wanted to jump, but it wasn’t easy to find an English instructor in our town. Nevertheless, my wife persisted, and my daughter took lessons regularly from three different individuals over the next few years.
Still, I didn’t expect the pleading letter I found on my pillow one night when she was thirteen, stating that her greatest desire in the world would be to have a horse of her own. Here are a few of my favorite parts:
A horse is … what I want more than anything on our planet, but it goes much further than that. A horse is part of the family, too. Unlike computers and cars, they have spirits and feelings. They will stay your joy forever…
I wish with all my heart that you could understand how I feel, but nothing I say can explain it. Just riding and being around horses takes everything off my shoulders. It makes me forget everything that troubles me…
It makes me sad to see so many people achieving their dreams like they want to. I just wish with all my heart that I could, too—that I could be supported and helped by you more. I don’t want to grow up someone who regrets that they didn’t follow their dreams. I want to be able to find the right horse when he comes along.
It wasn’t the first time she’d asked for a horse, but we sensed a deeper urgency this time. My wife and I decided that we should help her toward her dream. To test her dedication, we told her we would start looking for a horse after she earned the first five hundred dollars toward the purchase price. She did, and about seven months later, we began to search for the right horse—who turned out to be a ten-year-old appaloosa gelding.
Along with him came the usual feeding and boarding costs, the shoeing, and the veterinary expenses. We also needed a horse trailer. After that investment of several thousand dollars, I began sending my small wife and smaller daughter on trips to lessons and a handful of nearby jumping competitions with a Suburban, a two-horse trailer, and a twelve-hundred-pound animal.
Luckily, the horse was well-behaved. He patiently went along on their adventures, trusting that they would take care of him. We didn’t fully appreciate at the time what a generous personality he had, as he was the only horse we’d ever owned.
My wife learned to back the trailer and change tires. She also learned to watch for low overhangs after one incident in which she accidentally tore the permanently welded steel ladder off the hay rack.
Little did I know, a horse, a trailer, and the associated monthly costs were only the beginning of the financial outlay. We didn’t realize that a horse can easily hurt itself in a pasture or may be prone to chronic pain.
Our horse developed some lameness that not only involved a veterinarian but also a horse chiropractor who practiced acupuncture. The horse was the only member of the family who had a chiropractor and acupuncturist! As a physician, I didn’t know what to think! I often wondered how a horse could survive in the wild—who would take care of it?
Over the next four years, my daughter enjoyed her time with her horse, though he was often unable to jump due to his periodic and unexplained lameness. She cared for him on her own six days a week where he was boarded at a nearby property.
When our daughter went away to college, we tried to find a buyer, but who wants a horse that isn’t totally fit? We were eventually able to give him away to a trusted friend with horses.
Later, when my daughter became engaged, I warned her fiancé that there would be horses in his future. Sure enough, seventeen years later, she is once again jumping with her own horse, and her children ride as well.
While I realize that many horse parents are more heavily involved and spend far larger sums than I did, becoming a horse owner was still a shocking experience, and the veterinary issues only added to my bewilderment.
With all of the trouble we had with our horse, you might ask, “If you had to do it over, would you do it again?” I imagine my answer would be the same as for many horse dads who have seen their children’s commitment and hard work bring them joy: Yes—I would do it for my daughter.
If you have a story about how horses or horse people have improved your life, please consider sharing!
Photo by methaphum on Adobe Stock Images.
